Dreaming new dreams: Change as catalyst

So what do you see when you look at this, A tree right?

For me I see being rooted,quietly and confidently standing still although  shaken and some of the self (leaves) is on the ground. I see me and so many others that I know.

There is that famous saying “Change is inevitable” and one must learn to live with it. It is true, change will come whether one accepts it or not. The difference  lies in one’s attitude towards that change. If you view it as an irritation, something to constantly fight then you lose the joyous gifts that it can bring. I can hear the little voice in my head having its moment of silence before the hysterical laughter. Joyous did she say? She actually says change can be joyous??? If that’s not losing your mind then I don’t know what is.

And perhaps one should lose ones minds…..afterall how is one ever suppose to find a new way of doing something new if you stick to the same pattern or in the words of  Albert Einstein insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result!

So how does one know when it’s time to dream anew?

So often one gets a sense or a feeling, some might call it instinct or whatever you choose to call it, we all have it and it lets you know that something deep down is not right. The difference often lies in the choice we make about that feeling. We can ignore it and hide under the fluffy landscape of our lives and hope against blessed hope that it disappears or we can read about it, search the internet in hopes of a solution (that may or may not come) or  we can look at it and choose to see it for what it is. An opportunity to rewrite the script of your life! Imagine a whole brand new blank canvas that you can choose the landscape, textures and colours that speak to your souls longing and desires….what a joyous experience!

Toolkit for making it in the whirlwind of change

Permission from yourself to yourself to become part of the change as opposed to it just happening to you – this makes it more your process and unique to you

lots and lots and lots and lots of courage (an everyday process)

Kindness and gentleness to yourself…a beautiful butterfly does after all come from a worm

time to do whatever you need in order to get through it (My personal favourites include: thinking, eating, crying , sleeping, raging, laughing, writing, dancing and pampering my self)

a safe space where there are no demands on you, other than to be who you are

forgiveness of self (for that which you could have, should have, might have done….but did not)

a good dose of humour

So today I dare to change that which no longer works for me and dream a new dream, one that will hurl me into the magnificent whirlwind of life. A place where I have no or very little control (rather scary) but where I need to go and I guess if we really visit the dark corridors of ourselves (who wants to go there?????) we find the treasure that is the catalyst to change.

What a beautiful way to dream a new dream:).

Namaste

The thrill of dating myself

A while back it occurred to me that I never do much for myself, I am forever the best of everything to everyone. Like most woman who I know I am actively employed in the service of others , with work hours that are never-ending and remuneration that’s irregular but makes me feel great in the form of “thank you” and the occasional actual money (and oh how some camps love it!).
In an inspired moment, I thought OK I will take myself out on a date for a change. No sooner had I made the decision than I was beset with the guilt of all that I would be leaving unattended and ofcourse, the unbearable thought of how everything would simply fall apart without me there! The very notion of being replaceable was simply too much to deal with. Nonetheless after many “reasons” why I could not go on this planned date, curiosity got the better of me and in the end I went.
First decision….what kind of date? Lunch seemed safer (after all a lone lady at night can raise eyebrows and my brave-o-meter is simply not there YET!)
With that settled I planned all the delicious things I would do and did. The most surprising adventure of the day was the reaction of the waiter in this particular restaurant I went to. The gentleman in question is tall dark and definitely temperature raising with what I decided was a Barry White kinda voice. He asks “how come a lady like yourself is out alone, is there no mister”? AHEM….slience. After recovering from the semi-stunned brain exile I thought oh! hang-on this is unusual right after I felt like I should explain my lack of ‘otherness’ in the picture. I did not offer the tempting explanation, instead I simply smiled and said “do I need someone all the time”? You can imagine the blush and my secret feeling of victory!

Here is what I learned about that day and myself:
There is no awkward silence and furtive glances wondering who is going to start the conversation!
Creating little moments of magic for yourself helps especially when it seems there’s less of it in your world.
Going out alone is liberating (right after you get over the anxiety)
It offers one a fresh perspective on things and lets you secretly gaze at all the fabulous people you can’t look at when with the ‘other’.
It an act of great care and compassion towards yourself
best of all, there is no one to rush you and can spend absolute hours lost in your self.
if time is in short supply, a small act such as plugging in some music or going for a walk has the exact same effect.